We have became the masters of our own puppet show:
“If I say this, this happens”
“I can’t say that, or that will happen”
“Careful careful, don’t taunt the anger trapped within the belly of the beast”
“Watch your tone, watch your words, watch its impact”.
Why’d you let it get that far?
You don’t see the bloodshot eyes and dark circles, covered flawlessly with her makeup.
You don’t see the tears after that phone call, furiously wiped off with her arm.
You don’t see her attempts of smiling in the mirror, trying to hide that she had been crying an hour ago.
You don’t see her on the days she’s slumped in the corner of her room, exhausted, more times than she could count.
You don’t see the look on her face when the white noise gets louder and louder, her fists clenched as she tries her best to distract herself.
You don’t see the frustration she feels when she is asked to explain why, and how she wishes she has a proper explanation.
You don’t see him trying to fight every part of him that is calling him back to bed.
You don’t see how he beats himself up for taking a day off, you only see him laugh off how he was “feeling sick”.
You don’t see the seething anger behind his eyes, as he struggles to fight against what he’s feeling.
You don’t see how he’s learned to sweep things under the carpet, despite wanting to scream.
You don’t see how her smile barely meets his eyes, it was hollow hollow hollow.
You don’t see how much each smile means to her, owing to her subconscious fear of the days she is unable to feel anything at all.
You don’t see beyond the lack of sparkle in her eyes, hiding yesterday’s sorrows.
You don’t see his mind running a mile a minute underneath his calm demeanour.
You don’t see the validation he secretly yearns, well hidden out of sight.
You don’t see the effect trauma had on him, only seeing the confident smirk plastered on his face.
You don’t see that they care, you only notice the stony look set in their eyes.
You don’t see it, do you?
We only see what we want portrayed to the world —
And that, is a sincerity that cannot be delivered.
We are all not who you think we are —
But this is it.
It’s been too long,
We can’t be in this cycle anymore.
At the end of the day,
He too only helps those who helps themselves.
We shouldn’t have let it get that far,
But we have —
And it’s time to try and leave this all behind.
