we last left it at a
h a l t
make amends —
i’ve made one first step earlier today
will it make things better?
i don’t know for sure
will it be okay?
i don’t know for sure
but this is what my therapist said to me
here’s the gist
i can make amends by acknowledging my own behaviour and reactions
but i am not responsible for the reactions of others
i am not responsible in making sure they are pacified
i am not responsible in making sure they accept me
i am responsible in owning up to my behaviour
i am responsible in taking the steps to make my life better for me
but i was never responsible for these:
their reactions // their stance // their judgments // their words
were you ever meant to be responsible for everything that ends up going wrong?
why are you so convinced that you’re always in a game of dominoes
always cautious, careful, fearful
that one little step will bring everything else to its end
stop
s t o p
breathe with me
stop carrying such a weight on your shoulders, it’s exhausting beyond belief
love yourself a little more
you are worth caring for
your strength does not make you any less deserving of good
your strength is not a testament of an expectation to always be fine
breathe with me
you are loved beyond measure
