Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Her ears perked up, as the hands of the alarm clock perched on her desk ticked each passing second towards the completion of a full circle.
She closed her eyes,
Trying to make herself fall asleep.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
She shifted in bed, trying to get comfortable to the sound of her own rhythmic breathing.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Her eyes,
Wide open;
Her body felt the exhaustion;
But her mind was running circles.
The ceiling held its stare back at her, and if it had the properties to reflect —
It would have reflected the restlessness that was in her eyes.
Creak.
Sighs. Shifts over.
Blank.
Darkness.
Little spots dancing across her vision as she opens her eyes once more;
As though her mind was fighting with her urge to rest.
Her thoughts were on a roll, but she’s unable to pinpoint its exact cause.
Was she becoming complacent?
What really was her passion;
What has become of her goals, her dreams?
Has she been in the likes of a dilettante —
And has grown too comfortable to move forward to the likes of a virtuoso?
Blinks.
Who has she become, in the midst of everything;
Who really was she, at her core?
“Sheer willpower and naivety”, they said.
“Honesty”, she whispered.
Breathe in,
Breathe out,
Ignore that hitch in her throat.
To the days we lose sight of it all,
The days our passion burns out for what we love —
Here’s to doing the little things: the seemingly small steps of waking up earlier, having a hot drink, or even being in clothes that makes you feel good.
I hope one day you’ll be able to look back on these moments and say,
“It’s good to be back, but I will be working on better.”
