How David Archuleta’s “Upset With Me” Encouraged Me To Speak My Truth
On 15th May 2019, I was browsing through Instagram when I came upon a thread of Instagram stories (saved stories: “Boundaries”) that were shared by musician David Archuleta.
He first shared about how being a Christian does not mean we are to be doormats. Just because we were taught to love and to forgive, it did not mean that we should allow others to take advantage of us or cross our personal boundaries. A dear lecturer of mine had personally advised me to “not be a doormat” when she realised how I was tiptoe-ing on eggshells for everyone else — except myself. She explained, “I know we’re both Christians, but we weren’t ever told to allow ourselves to be stepped on — especially when it comes to standing up for what is right.”
There is a misconception (and often the brunt of many jokes) that Christians are always goody-two shoes who would sing songs about the Bible and never snap out at others.
Motivational speaker Hank Smith shared the following: “Being Christlike means having a spine and defending who you love and what you know to be right. Simply accepting someone’s behaviour because it’s easier than defending yourself and those you should be defending is the furthest thing from being like Jesus.”
David shared further through his thread of Instagram stories:
It takes courage to be able to trust your gut and extract yourself from the situation. Your worth is not determined whether you obey their calls or not. And yes, they may get vicious after you cut them off because they’re mad you’re no longer in their control. Let them kick and scream, you didn’t do anything wrong by protecting yourself.
He shared how he wrote “Upset With Me” (one of the songs from his “Postcards In The Sky” album) based on this thought process. The story behind his song made me interested to listen to it and search up the lyrics, which I will quote some below alongside my thoughts:
Maybe someday
You’ll take the chance to listen to me
And then you’d know that I still love you
It is normal to feel pain when someone hurts or betrays us. David first affirmed that despite the pain he feels, he still has a lot of love for the person/people. It is human to screw up, it is human to hurt and be hurt.
I know you’re upset with me
But you can’t keep hurting me
If you disagree
With every word I speak
I told you what I feel
You say it’s not real
So I’m leaving
Yes, we all screw up. But it doesn’t make it okay to allow someone to keep hurting you over and over again. If you find yourself being in a cycle that is clearly toxic for your mental wellbeing, you have every right to reflect and take a step backwards. Yes, we are taught to love — but we are not taught to keep silent through abuse.
If I’m not enough
To show you who I am
After all I’ve done
And it’s too tough for you to understand
I’m taking back what’s mine
We both sacrificed
Gave everything we had
But I don’t have to give you my life
The lyrics above really hit me hard because of the strength behind it. If there is a clear crossroad and irreconcilable differences, it is okay to extract yourself from the situation. You do not owe anyone anything. You have tried your best, and it has gone beyond what you can accept or come to a compromise on.
I’m sorry I’ve done anything
That makes you feel that I hurt you
I’m not sure what I’m running to
But now it’s something I needed to do
I need to keep me safe from you
The last line of this verse reminded me of a conversation between Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace in The Fault In Our Stars. When Augustus was confessing about how he felt about Hazel, she stopped him, saying: “Gus, I’m a grenade. One day, I’m going to blow up and obliterate everything in my wake. I’d like to minimise the casualties, okay?.” Sometimes I have felt that the emotional baggage I carry would be too much for someone, and this makes me want to keep them safe — away from me.
If there is someone
Who needs to know
Protect yourself and find the help to let you go
If there is anything you should remember from this piece, it’s this: you deserve to treat yourself better. You have every right to speak up or leave a situation when it gets toxic. You have every right to protect yourself and find the help you need.
You are allowed to let go, you are allowed to make peace so that you can move forward.
You are allowed to speak your truth.
Link to David’s album “Postcards In The Sky”: https://open.spotify.com/album/5RqxI6D0LqqM2naZXM5Ild
