Illuminate your own light
“Never get covered by another darkness. Illuminate your own light.”
When you find yourself being stuck in a tough spot or rut for a long period of time, the time that passes by starts to blur. Your mind barely keeps track of the days, minutes, and seconds that go by. Everything seems to mesh together in one big blob.
Often we are told the reassurance that the end of one day signifies the beginning of another — a new opportunity to start fresh to rid of yesterday’s disappointments.
But what if the days are going fleetingly by, and yet… everything still feels the same? What if we are unable to differentiate between the days, other than the momentary excitement for a new episode of our favourite TV series or someone’s birthday? What if the things that used to bring us joy, evolved into one of the biggest mental blocks we ever had? What if we don’t see the point of speaking up anymore when it feels like nothing will ever change?
What if everything feels so overwhelming and overpowering?
What if the pressure just keeps on building? Although taking the high road may be all you’ve known, but what if you’ve reached a point when you just can’t do it anymore? What if it’s just too much to have your toes crushed again and again? What if you find pieces of you slowly withering away, making you wonder if you were ever the obstacle you hated?
Here’s a little wake-me-up for you:
You are not perfect. Nor should you expect yourself to be.
Try as much as you can to lessen the hurt/backlash that it may cause on anyone else and yourself — but remember that it is human to feel frustrated. We will get angry. We will feel that we’ve reached our wits’ end. We will feel sad, sometimes without a specific reason. We will tear ourselves down on some days, and lift ourselves up on others. We will cry. We will bleed. We will struggle to love ourselves on some days.
These make up the dark parts of us after all.
Having said that, it is important that we analyse our own behaviour. If we felt that we were definitely out of line, we can apologise. If we felt that there was a valid reason for why we lost our patience, explain why (also depending on whether the other person would be open enough to listen).
It is healthy to acknowledge what you feel. After all, one is only able to move forward if they accept both sides of themselves — even the less-than-stellar moments.
Remember that you are allowed to protect yourself: your space, your sanity, and your peace.
