Redamancy, a reflection
‘Redamancy’, the act of loving one who loves you.
The Urban Dictionary defines ‘redamancy’ as the very existence of us: “the act of loving back.”
2020 has been a rollercoaster ride: of the unexpected, the need to adapt, and a reminder to hold our loved ones close. From this time of being more present at home, I have learned to pick up on the subtle and different ways a person can show love.
‘Love’ does not necessarily refer to romantic love. It can be familial, friendships, for our pets, acquaintances — a yearning for a general pursuit of kindness.
Love is not necessarily communicated solely through words of affirmation. Love languages too include acts of service, giving or receiving gifts, physical touch, and quality time. Often so, we may prefer a combination of these.
During this lockdown, undeniably, many things have changed. There are many things we had to adapt to as well. There are some of us who are thankfully privileged: having only the lack of face-to-face interaction as the main problem. Some of us may be struggling to keep our businesses afloat. Some of us may be acting entitled. Many would have had their plans halted or postponed. The entire world for once, was united by our shared trauma.
What I have learned during this season is to be more vocal in expressing better appreciation for the people I love. Genuine love and concern can be shown in all forms; the seemingly smallest of gestures can speak the greatest of volumes.
BTS’ Suga had shared about both the ordinary and the extraordinary:
“It’s the loss of the ordinary. That’s been the biggest change. What’s ordinary to others is special to me, whereas what’s special to others is very ordinary to me. Before you know it, your set of values for things changes. The way you see the world with your values.”
Ordinary things by theory, have become even more significant and precious to me.
Cutting up cubed fruits into a bowl because they thought of you. Being there to watch your favourite film together, even if the level of enthusiasm differs. Trying to understand more of one another’s passions, to be each other’s cheer of support. Understanding that there can be bad days, and learning to not take the shift in mood personally.Respecting one’s space, rather than pushing to figure out what is wrong. Seeing both the ups and downs, and yet —
staying to love anyways.
‘Redamancy’, truly,
— a love that fills, a love that is returned in full.
