The Truth About Self-Love And Ways To Love Yourself

Lily Low
9 min readMay 20, 2019

“I tend to be most interested in the kinds of people who do not sweeten or dilute themselves for the sake of people’s taste. Who never soften the blow of who they are. Like my coffee, I prefer the people I connect with to be full-strength and searing hot. Those able to rouse my weary, idle heart.”
— Beau Taplin // Black Coffee

Loving myself. What does loving one self really mean?

Self-love may take the form of relaxing hot showers, calming baths, scented candles, enjoying a cup of coffee while reading your favourite book, going for a jog, finding clothes you like, treating yourself to a spa day, and good food.

But self-love isn’t really just about pampering yourself.

Is loving ourselves being able to look in the mirror for once without criticising our own bodies? Is loving ourselves finally feeling content with where you are at in life? Is loving ourselves being able to be happy for both yourself and others when we achieve success? Does loving ourselves involve speaking and thinking kindly of ourselves? Does loving ourselves include listening to our needs and putting ourselves first sometimes?

This is the truth: self-love is not just a pretty physical process. For many of us, we need to learn how to conquer and keep our demons in check. Acceptance of the reality of what we face would be the first step. After acceptance, we then need to tackle both the ups and the downs before we can truly move forward towards change. Trying to suppress what we feel may seem like a solution in the moment — but the problem may grow bigger than what it originally is in the long run if it wasn’t addressed.

Is there a way to really truly love ourselves 100%? Maybe, maybe not. As judgmental as we can be about others, many of us have ourselves as our own worst critic.

BTS artist Suga quoted this in a poem he wrote to his bandmates: “The brighter the light, the darker the shadows.” There is a saying that those who have known what darkness and pain feels like can go either one of two ways: either they dwell in their darkness, or they feel more inclined to spread the light they wished they could have had. I’m going to be honest: I’m still struggling in the process of truly loving…

Lily Low

“No darkness, no season is eternal.” | Writes about mental health, music, current issues, life, poetry, and faith.